The Great Snake Escape

by Sep 4, 2020

Have you ever… fought a boa constrictor?

My junior year in high school was all sorts of crazy. And the story I’m about to tell you is one of my most wild yet. 

Before there was the film Snakes on a Plane, there was Snake Trying to Kill Johnny.

I was given a boa constrictor a few months before the great snake escape went down. All I had were some vague instructions about how he needed to be fed and his terrarium. Naturally, I couldn’t find the exact diet he’d had before, and I solved the problem by feeding him LIVE rats more often than he should have gotten them. 

Not only did I make him ENORMOUS, I also reactivated his hunter’s instincts. Now it’s important to understand our relationship: before our crazy fight, he’d just hang out with me while I was doing homework. We (seemingly) regarded each other well, and I never expected what happened the night he got out.

Find out how my pet snake became the hunter, and I the prey…

In this episode you’ll learn about…

  • Feed it mice, NOT rats. (1:24)
  • Where I found him. (5:30)
  • Snake feeding watch parties. (7:56)
  • The broom is such a good idea. Nope. (11:53)
  • Like a ninja, I seize my opportunity. (14:41)
  • Killing me slowly. (18:24)

Listen to the episode

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